Ego death and a total break through in the snow

My friends were kinda talking to me like I was a small child at this point, so I felt singled out in a strange way, since I was the only one tripping really hard, and I felt like my happiness was making them happy, it was really weird though because I just felt like everything they said they were saying to me or about me (I have this problem any time I trip though) when they were unlocking the door was when I stopped understanding what they were saying for the most part, a lot of words just sounded like gibberish and didn't mean anything to me, I don't remember climbing the stairs, I know when we first got in the kitchen I threw my stuff on the ground and said "I'm sorry but I just need to lay on the floor," and proceeded to lay on the rug in the kitchen, G layed down next to me and I cuddled up to her and proclaimed how much I loved her and after that is when everything is completely out of order and confusing, I'll try my best to give a good explanation. At this point I was seeing level 5 visual geometry, Everything started to look very strange and soft, people eyes got big and shiny, the texture of everything was similar to a pixar cartoon, I can recall hearing my friend say they wanted to take more than one hit of acid, because they had only ever taken one at a time, I could see the emotion for some reason, wanting, I felt like I was experiencing senses that didn't exist, I think I was experiencing concepts, I remember flipping around and everything I knocked into felt really good so I started flipping around the kitchen and knocking into everything that's when stuff started looking really weird, the carpet started to look like cats, like a bunch of cats all sitting on top of each other, I knew it was still the carpet though, I looked out the door over the balcony and all the trees started to look like 2 dimensional cartoon arms, that's when I started to have level 6 geometry, the arms branched out and covered my whole vision, everything was made of arms, I can't remember what happened after this. I remember being in this strange world, (I was still partially aware that I was on a drug and with my friends, I don't think I was aware of who's house I was at and why we were all there or anything.) it was like I could let people into this world and once they were there they would understand everything, and I thought people would be angry that I was there but once I let them in they would understand, and I felt completely free from everything, I was overwhelmed with joy, everything in this world was very colorful there was a lot of blue pink and yellow, also mint green, purple, and gold. I could see my friends still, it was like I was in a strange tunnel though, I kept talking about how we should be using the acid we took for science, as in scientific research, to study consciousness and how the brain works and philosophy, my friend A asked me (or maybe someone else) how the stuff we took compared to my friend P's acid. A looked like a yellow cartoon cat with blue eyes, 2D, not detailed at all that I can remember. After she said that everyone and everything including me turned into this swirling color pattern of mostly blue pink and yellow and it was the emotion happiness, it was like a wave, it was 2 dimensional I think I may have blacked out during this time because I don't have any memory of what happened afterwards. The next thing I remember was looking at my friend G, she said something to me but it didn't make any sense and it was like a computer glitching, my brain felt like a computer glitching, and I just remember her going ah? ah? In an inquisitive tone and then ahhh in a disappointed one like she was going do you understand? do you understand? then nah you don't, I could make out words, I'm not sure who was saying them her or me, but it was like a glitch feeling, it was *"nothing #glitch makes #glitch shmense"* (sense but it sounded like smense haha) then everything started separating from itself as in senses, the color of a table would separate from the texture and the idea of a table and then it connected in different ways, Started with the blending of my vision, I was looking at a friends face then gazed past and looked at the wall, first I became confused and couldn't distinguish what was the wall and what was the table and what was my friend, it was all just a part of my vision (also I was unable to understand words and had no idea where I was, who my friend was or WHAT she was, I didn't know what a human was, so I looked over her shoulder, couldn't separate objects from each other, then I couldn't separate colors, then smells tastes physical sensations emotions or anything including myself from all of this, "I" disappeared as is me my name my body my personality, they all blended together and went upward, it was like the room was sucked up and there was nothing left but black nothingness behind 2 energy balls made of everything that could ever be perceived, and a consciousness observing it, it wasn't really black but there was nothing there, hard to imagine nothing. Every sense and emotion and color and everything separated into 2 balls that looked white, one made of one thing and the other made of everything that contrasted what the other was made of, "positive and negative" consciousness observed streams come from the orbs and flow together in the middle, spreading out and back in in the center of the 2 orbs, in the center the streams the "energies" collided and because they were exact opposites they canceled each other out, and when the 2 separate orbs had completely merged there was nothing, no consciousness, no black or white no me or anything, it was nirvana and there was no time, no temperature, nothing that could ever be perceived and no one to not perceive anything. It is hard not to talk about it with a certain amount of mysticism, because a lot of people don't know how to describe things like this without using metaphors, because there are no words that have been invented to describe it! Streams looked more like webs, almost like smoke or a thin layer of white everything over black nothing in circles going from a small point of half of everything -> spreads out in every direction and loops into a specific point -> meets other energy at specific point and match each other to become neutral <- spreads out in every direction and loops into a specific point <- a small point of half of everything The next thing I remember was a few eyeballs swirling very calmly in a circle in front my vision, with nothing but black in the background, they were blue, rather realistic, then yellow cats, 3D they would stick out their tongues and open their eyes wide and spin in the circle faster when I would move around, the eyeballs would open wider and spin faster and they would leave tails of colors behind them blues pinks yellows greens reds purples, so I starting moving and kicking and throwing myself in different directions really hard and fast. I saw my friend G and she suggested something to me I don't know what it was but it had something to do with hippies or something, once again I was experiencing concepts, it was like we were making a pact, and it had happened before, it was like a spiritual pact, I don't really know, but I started kicking and moving my arms and body as fast and hard as I could, as if my life depended on it, and when I did that the cats and eyeballs would spin faster and open up and more colors would come off of them and the eyes would open super wide and something would come out of the center of them, they were completely realistic 3 dimensional and they just floated above my normal vision, the more I would kick and punch the faster and more intricate and intense they would get, I saw eyeballs and psychedelic patterns on everything, the bed the couch the floor my fingers my friends, I was under the impression I was working towards some goal, I hallucinated my friend P, who wasn't actually there, came into the room and I kept yelling his name as well as G's and 2 of my other friends, they were all a part of this thing I was doing, the air kept swirling like over a grill, and I could see these crazy green dragon type things and P would say something like *"niiiccee"* telling me to calm down and the patterns would get more intense and beautiful all the people there felt like my family and everything in the room held sentimental value, it was like everything was a distant memory that i was coming back to, my friends were pouring water on me, which I was unaware of for the most part, but I kept feeling something really strange it was like my hallucinations were licking my body and they would get more intense when they would pour water on me, I saw my parents and they kept trying to help me with this thing, I felt like everyone was trying to help me, and contributing as well, we kept reaching new levels of whatever it was, things kept folding out, hallucinations, feelings, people, they would get more and more intricate, I was starting to get tired from punching and kicking I had to keep going in different directions because the force pushing against me was too strong when I kept going in one direction, I felt like once I reached one thing I could never stop moving on and up, there wasn't a goal to stop at, the goal was never ending and I could never stop moving up and going further, my parents kept telling me that I had to stop and I was going to die and that there were medics that were going to come and I kept saying that I knew I could do it and that we couldn't stop, and apparently we weren't the only group of people that had done this and there were these groups that had done this, and we were one of the groups that got the farthest, it was like time didn't matter, the people that I had heard had done this before and gotten the furthest was us, and I couldn't stop because I would lose all the people and they were so important to me and every person with me had this insane special meaning to everyone with us, we were combining or something, someone called the police (not in real life)((I think?)) I could see the red and blue lights flashing and hear the sirens but I couldn't leave because I couldn't stop, my body was cut in half (because in reality I had cut my left foot really badly on a nail sticking out of a chair) and there was dark blue liquid coming up out of the floor and ceiling, there would be a flash and bruises and cuts would well up all over my body and blood would come out there was water and cat food floating in the air and I kept saying no no no I can't let you go no no no I can't let you go